Silence

Dear friends, 

It seemed appropriate to focus on silence on Hallows Eve. ( I hope all of you out there with the goblins and fairies, had a wonderful time!) 

Silence is a doorway to the depths of our being. 

It is curious how we long for silence and yet we resist it. We long for the peace, the stillness, the end of frustration, noise and yet we surround ourselves with noise, with distractions, with busy lives. Do we really allow ourselves to simply sit, in a relaxed but awake way. Before we know it, we have something that has to be done and we get going, or we are creating lists in our minds, or we are berating ourselves for being lazy......

During Monday's session we began by exploring what silence feels like. Sometimes silence is completely full and quiet and sometimes it is empty, empty, empty. Silence is the nature of Being itself. It is beyond  the thinking mind, it is not about the absence of thought. And in fact if you try to quieten your mind you simply create more tension and stress, more thoughts and self criticism. 

We then looked at why we resist silence. And in came the superego with all its judgements about sitting quietly, meditating, about doing nothing. We recognized how rare it is to actually rest, for all the inner activity to settle down and for the silence to emerge. We explored the inner agitation, boredom. And how some part of us simply wants to goof off. We looked at how the superego slips in and is in charge of when we should meditate and then the child within us responds by procrastination. Some of us are frightened by the silence and what might arise. Some of us are frightened of the emptiness that can arise. We are not familiar with the emptiness. Notice in this culture how averse we are to even a second of two of quiet. Social silence can make us very anxious. When we allow silence we may notice how alone and lonely we feel. So there are lots of reasons why we resist the silence. Perhaps this week you will notice more of them. Not to judge them, but simply to notice. And when you notice perhaps you will remember to sense your arms and legs, your breath, your belly. 

I suggested this week that instead of meditating-- which we saw so easily becomes a "should" of the superego-- that this week you simply gaze out of the window, relaxed looking. See what it is like to gaze and relax into your body. Perhaps you have a nice view. If you are someone who makes lists in your mind, have paper and pen at hand and jot down the list. That way you won't spend the whole time trying  to remember the list!!!! Gazing is not staring, it is relaxed. Some spiritual traditions practice gazing at sacred icons. This week we are gazing at the sacred icon of the world outside your window. Your mind will drift. No problem. Let yourself be drawn back to gazing, by the mysterious pull of your quiet longing for silence. Remember this is a journey of relaxation and awakeness. Trying to relax won't work!!!

I also suggested that you turn off your TV, your radio, your computer, your phone etc. Not for the whole day, but simply a conscious gesture to bring some outer silence into your life. It is easier to drop into the presence of silence when there is some outer quiet, when we are in touch with our bodies, and when we have sent the superego packing.

Since we are at the mid point of these sessions Joe and I thought it would be useful to have a check in next time. How is this going? We  will then move into one of the most insidious ways the superego gains the upper hand in spiritual work-- such as the practice of presence--and religious life. We call this the spiritual superego, or the religious superego. It is deeply imbedded in all the major religious traditions and has caused so many such harm. 

Whether we like it or not, all of us are deeply affected by our religious cultures. It is in our genes! We all have been impacted and hurt. And to add insult the spiritual superego actually distorts the precious teachings. Can we actually hear the words of truth?