Matthew 5:20
And I tell you this, unless your own inner virtue transcends that of the most pious and religious here, you cannot enter the realms of Transcendence (heaven) there.
On Monday we explored how we easily turn to outside authorities-- the pious and religions--, for direction. And how this outward source of so called authority is often our own spiritual superego. The spiritual superego takes precious spiritual teachings and turns them in perfectionistic standards, turns them into rigid rules that our based in the need for control. It also creates the tribal loyalties which lead to doctrinal wars, excommunication, persecution and war all in the name of the superior God. This teaching like last week asks us to turn inward. In this week's quote from Matthew we are asked notice how we create our own idolatry, our own fixed beliefs and standards.
And what about inner virtue. What is Jesus pointing to. Is he asking us to become good virtuous children? This is an easy misinterpretation. Virtue here is pointing to Presence-- and the many tastes and faces of presence: stillness, love, compassion, openness, clarity, peace, true power.....This cannot be fabricated by the ego. Although we all attempt this. We can feel the difference between the fakeness of ego compassion and the tenderness of the presence of compassion. Ego desperately tries to imitate presence.
This week you might focus on the way we fake, or try to imitate the qualities of presence that we believe we SHOULD be expressing. If you feel into this you will inevitably find the superego telling how you should feel. But also you may also feel the actual fakeness; how it feels in the body, the taste in the mouth, the tension in the eyes and face; the shallowness of breath.
We also discussed the difference between direct experience and usual experiencing. In direct experience there is no gap between ourself and our experience. This is the taste of oneness. In the egoic or familiar way of experiencing life there is me and and then there is my experience. This can feel quite subtle or like an enormous chasm. The ego goes to town attempting to fill the gap: distraction, repetitive thinking, moving onto something else, compulsive habits, addictions...This gap is what separates us from what we love: the intimacy with ourselves, awake, at rest, alive and also from the deeper mysteries of our divine nature and the divinity of everything. You have joined this circle because the gap nags at you, haunts you, drives you crazy... If you never felt the deep dissatisfaction with this deep sense of separation you would not participate in our practice together. As we go deeper you may discover that the pain of the gap is the root of all human suffering.
Monday's exercises:
Journal: What is your literal, rational, take on this.
Tell me a way your spiritual superego— the eyes of the most pious and religious —blocks your inner ways of seeing and knowing.
Tell me a way your experience this inner seeing.
Explore the arising of direct experience. Notice when the surface way of seeing arises and takes you away from the immediacy of direct experience. Do you feel the gap between you and your experience. What is your relationship to the gap.
Hope to see you all soon, Alison
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