Dear friends, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is a common expression. But who is the beholder? During our last time together we explored how the superego defines beauty and becomes the beholder. It has all kinds of standards, all kinds of rules, judgements that we take in from our parents and the larger culture. And when beauty is reduced to an image, to appearance it begins to feel dull, flat, stiff, lifeless. Beauty becomes about the surface of things and people.
We discovered that when we approach beauty in the present moment it comes alive. We are touched by beauty, we feel depth. It enlivens us, it inspires us. And most importantly it opens us to love. Sometimes it is hard to know whether we love what is beautiful or what is beautiful becomes what we love. Beauty evokes the heart.
When we are touched by beauty almost invariably we will cling to it, try to replicate it and consume it over and over. What was fresh, immediate becomes lifeless, flat like an image. There is an immediacy to beauty; it lives in the now, and it is the exquisite face of our own presence. Presence is the source of beauty. It is reflected all around us. So naturally we assume its source is out there. But when we are cut off from our own presence, beauty becomes an idol. Something we worship, but which is completely disconnected from the ground of being. We see horrid caricatures of this everywhere in our image obsessed culture. I keep seeing Joan Rivers' face as I write this. Scary and such a violent distortion of beauty.
Aging is perhaps one of the greatest challenges. Where does beauty go when our faces fall off, and we bulge this way or that? It goes for sure. We are not helped by the superego and its harsh condemnation or our merciless culture. This loss is the portal to what we discover when we turn inward, feel, touch and know what lives us more and more directly. When our sight dims, our hearing goes, our brains become foggy, there is loss, no doubt. One way of thinking about aging is that we are being weaned- hopefully slowly- from our perceptual capacities so that the door of the inner landscape of presence can open. Helen Luke in her book Old Age writes about this beautifully.
And what about the tyranny of beauty in adolescence and adulthood? Whether we are male or female, young or old, beautiful or not, this is a tortuous landscape of suffering, judgement, self hatred and struggle.
Beauty is so precious, so vulnerable that we may recoil from expressing it. We hide it away and most importantly we don’t let ourselves recognize that we are this beauty. It is perhaps safe to know and feel the beauty of what we love "out there". But can we know ourselves as a soul, as living beauty. We got a taste of this on Monday night.
Each of us brought an object, a photo, flowers, something personally beautiful. We shared this with each other. There was such sincerity, tenderness, preciousness, and love in the air. And yes beauty
Questions: Tell me a way the superego judges beauty? Tell me a way beauty becomes an image? How does beauty as an image, or as appearance feel? Share your feelings about the object you brought. Focus on your felt experience in the moment.
There will be no Spirit Singing this month. Instead during our Earth Day church service on Sunday April 21st, at 10.30am Kath and Sam will be leading Spirit Singing. I will also be leading a meditation during this service.You are all welcome. We will be holding two more practicing presence on Monday April 15th and 22nd.
Hope to see you soon. Alison
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