The religious/spiritual superego

Dear Friends, Last Monday I shared that I have been on a kind of archeological dig over the last five years. I was drawn reluctantly at first and then passionately to recover the essence of my religious heritage,  and to reclaim what is precious and true from the fundamentalism of the superego. This was completely unexpected since I was raised by an ardent atheist and thought I had found my spiritual path. 

Sadly it seems that most Spiritual and religious teachings gradually become the territory of the superego. What is alive, vibrating with spirit becomes codified into purity codes,and  into a moralism that condemns, threatens, punishes and  shames. We need spiritual and religious teachings, desperately. But they become rules, shoulds, obligations and standards rather than sacred words that point us to the mystery of our divine nature.

Many of us recoiled against this. We rebelled, we fled, we became judgmental.  Or we submitted to the distortions and we tried to become good and religious. Or we hid away our "sins" and sank into the guilt and shame of our failure and brokenness. Or perhaps we retreated into the certainty of scientific objectivity. When the superego, spiritual superego claims, appropriates, co-opts the teachings in the name of being reasonable, good, secure, safe, we are cut off from something very sacred--the living word, the living wisdom of our spiritual and religious heritage. In a way we throw out the baby with the bathwater. 

We react to the distortions, to the lies, to the violence done in God's name. And so we must. The problem is that this reaction is by its nature a rejection and the rejection is complete. We reject God, we reject the wisdom of our ancestors, we reject communion and community, we reject teachers. We reject them because we feel betrayed, duped, seduced and then abandoned and so it goes. It takes maturity to reject what is distorted and to discriminate what is real, alive and pointing to the mystery of Being. And this is difficult especially if our wounding goes deep. 

So it is essential that we begin to see how the spiritual superego operates. We need to see how our superego cloaks itself in religious imagery, words, theology, rules etc. So if our parents our tyrannical, chances are God will be seen as tyrannical. And so we fall into terror and fear.  If our parents are all loving then God will be seen as all loving. But when life is ruthless, impossible and not loving we feel abandoned, and disillusioned. If our parents are rigid and rule bound then God may become a set of purity rules and commandments. And then we may become righteous and judgmental. If our parents rejected God then there is a big emptiness that nothing can fill.  Sometimes it is extraordinarily confusing. Your parents claim to be good Christians and yet are cruel. You heard God was a loving God, that salvation was at hand and yet despite your prayers no one saved you. So God becomes seductive and betraying. And so examples go on. How did the original imprint of your parents become the template for your spiritual superego? How is it for you?

About five years ago I became angry that I had lost something precious. As I was drawn into this church I felt my father's condemnation. His own rejection of all spiritual and religious longings showed up in his sarcasm and judgement. And even though he was dead at the time I felt ashamed, hiding my visits to Sunday services. Gradually  I could see this was all superego, and my  father's own rejection of any faith. And for goodness sake what did my father's religious issues have to do with my own journey of discovery. And so I began to peel away his reactions and peer through the ways the superego over the ages has been projected onto and written into sacred texts. This history of projection has created a spirituality rooted in fear and judgement, rather than in love, freedom and truth. My anger allowed the desire for truth to become stronger than the shame. Without strength, without seeing the superego in all its shapes and forms, without the passion arising out of my anger for what is real and sacred, I could not write to you. It would be impossible to even dream that some of this fire, your fire, God's fire, the fire of Truth might ignite your own journey of recovery. We are recovering presence in all its manifestations and especially as it arises in you.

I left you with a contemplation last Monday. What would happen if all  the spiritual superego judgements magically disappeared. What would you be left with? Let yourself imagine this.

Questions from last time: What words would you use to describe the major religious/spiritual superego? Tell me a way you respond to the superego. Explore how you have been controlled, hurt and diverted by the religious/spiritual superego.

I have posted this to practicing-presence.blogspot.com

All you are sick with the flu I hope you recover quickly. And prayers to Karl and Dana on their journey of healing.  In peace, Alison