True Strength

On Monday we began to expose more clearly the aggression of the superego. (Exercise: Tell me a way you experience the aggression of the superego). It is this aggression that deprives the human being of the sense that I CAN or of strength. When we are judged there is aggression implicit or explicit in the attack, and it causes the body to brace, to shrink, to tighten as though in a vice. It causes us to get foggy, confused, filled with doubt. It makes us feel shaky, tearful, anxious, panicky, lost, even dissociated. The superego appropriates the life force and uses it cohesively against us. Remember the superego sees you as a small child who truly is incapable of functioning autonomously in the world. But we are not small children! And yet so often we feel incapable like small children especially when we have embarked on a journey of spiritual growth and maturity.

So over time we are cut off from the life force, the vibrant energy of I CAN, as the superego diverts this energy and uses it against us and others. So when we come up against the superego we are up against aggression. In order to be in the world, to engage in spiritual work we need to feel the strength of presence, the solidity of our being. If we are to open our delicate and tender hearts we need to feel that our presence is solid and protective of what is most precious. We need to feel that we have a base so we can open and flower into love. But many of us equate strength with aggression. We see it all around us. Strength as power over, as aggression. And so we shy away from strength, fearful of becoming aggressive.

What we discovered on Monday is that the presence of strength, is the embodied, alive sense of I CAN. In the belly it can feel alive, like red larva, or solid, unmovable like a mountain. It can feel like a bold and courageous heart. And in the mind this strength brings a penetrating clarity and capacity for discrimination or discernment. (Exercises: Tell me a way you feel strong and capable. Explore the way you experience embodied strength, the sense that I can. What happens to the superego when you are this strength).

There comes a time after you really see and understand what the superego is doing to you, to your expansion, to your growth, to your call, that this strength rises up in the soul and says enough, no more. This is an important moment. In a sense you have put the superego on notice. No more. Oh sure it will arise over and over. But it gets easier to turn your back on it, banish it, yell it away, laugh at it, hang up on it.... This is not about changing your superego into a nicer superego, this is about separating from the superego. And without your strength, your love you will be tied to the superego. This child cannot do this. It lacks the strength and capacity to separate from the superego. So it is the maturing you that finally says enough, and says it over and over until it becomes second nature. And gradually the superego loses its power over you. 

So this NO MORE is the I CAN of strength. It is the life force! Yours!

This week I suggest you notice the feeling embodied I CAN, how it comes and goes. It may be subtle and ordinary, or strong. We don't need to feel strong all the time. Life does not require it. But notice how the superego affects your sense of strength and aliveness.