Holy Indifference

As we discovered last time it is hard to imagine that holy indifference, has anything holy about it. The word conjures up images of cold hatred, heartlessness. And yet there is something profoundly holy about holy indifference when it expresses itself as one of the many flavors of presence. It is the ground of settledness, of non reactivity, of no preference. All is held, all is welcomed. Everything!

We explored the taboo of sitting with our friends in this non reactive, non socially responsive presence. We are hard wired to respond: we nod, we laugh, we judge, we identify, we fix, we rescue, we reject, we avoid.... That is the nature of ego. In other words we are reactive to the outside, and mostly these patterns are unconscious, conditioned from our past and by our superego and they pull us to the surface and draw us away from the depths of presence.

Holy indifference allows us to sit in presence, to be present to our friends, our lives without the usual reactivities, the likes and dislikes, judgements. It is not something you can do, it is a face of grace which will arise when we see through -- notice I did not say reject-- all the issues that come up when we invite the possibility of the simple gift of presence rather than all the busyness and fuss of trying to be helpful, trying to to be there for someone, evaluating, judging, performing, trying to be a good friend..... These are deeply engrained patterns.

To let yourself open to the  blessing in holy indifference, the deep freedom, the deep relaxation, the true gift is another doorway into the depths of presence. Without this non reactivity , this equanimity, this settledness, the heart cannot open. It will open when it feels right or good, but not unconditionally. It will be run be likes and dislikes and it will waver and react to what it believes is out there. The heart cannot feel safe to open to the tender loving gentleness, transparent delicacy of love without the support of this ground of holy indifference. Holy indifference offers the ballast, the support for the heart to discover it's nature as love.

 Many if us on the spiritual path long for the heart to open and we may miss this vital ingredient, this ground. That is why we focus so much on the belly, on the embodiment. Gradually these practices--- and it takes time-- will cultivate this grounded presence, this face of holy indifference. When the heart feels the support it will open quite naturally since that is it's nature. You wouldn't want to build a house without a foundation, so it is with spiritual development. Without the  ground our commitment will be shaky, our heart will feel reactive and the mind will desperately try to figure it all out, try to mange and fix.

 So as I said next week will dip into the waters of holy mutuality. I would encourage you this week to continue to explore all the beliefs and barriers you have about holy indifference. The point of this exploration is for your soul to begin to welcome the stillness and freedom of holy indifference.